经典作文笔记3

<P>第四部分 考研作文范文分析

主旨：以一丝不苟的态度对范文认真地分析，从而提高对语言的敏感性。
好的作文需要语言丰富多变 ：重要的单词尽量不重复有些主题词难免重复：譬如computer，PC
对于非主题词，如形容词，副词，动词则能改造就改造，用同义词，近义词来表达。
减少，缩减 ； decrease    
减少，衰退，范围减少； decline； decline；declined
减少 reduce；reduction；reduced
范围减小，范围减缩； shrink；shrinkage; shrinking;  shrunk
改造动词时要具体情况具体分析，对特殊动词要注意它的特殊的过去式形式
（具体修改在2000年真题，第6页上的范文）

图画作文范文二--范文八
（见第7页上的范文）

图画作文范文之三--范文十
（见第8页上的范文）
推荐的文章结尾采用的高难度句型：
  一.  倒装句型：
       Only……或者 Only in this way……
       或者是Only by doing so……
       即：倒装句Only+介词短语
  二.  强调句
       It is ……that……结构
       例如：It is in this way/It is by doing so that we can solve the problem.
三.  虚拟句型
        It is high time
        例如：It is high time that we changed present situation.
              It is high time that we solved the problem.
        注意：虚拟语气必须在从句中采用动词过去时
重写范文十：
缺点：一般的图画作文第一段应该先描述图画，不应该急于分析原因，一般的原因分析在第二段，提出建议在第三段。（结构散乱）
建议：写作文如果要分段的话，每一段应该是一个大的内容，第二段只讲原因，第三段提出建议，展望未来。切不可把内容拆散到各段去。
步骤：第一段详细描述图画信息，As is shown in the pictures, we can see clearly the struggle (fight或battle)between people and desert. In one picture, people are fleeing the greedy(hungry、overwhelming)desert. (说明：图画和图表的所配文字可以用 caption)The caption indicates that as the sand advances ,we retreat. On the contrary, the second picture depicts people carrying tools, young trees and water(说明：spade铁锹；黑桃    tool工具    sapling树苗；young trees树苗) to plant the earth again. The words demonstrate that as we force on the sandhills withdraw(recede).
第二段：The purpose of the two pictures as to show as that due attention has to be paid to the harms of desertification(desert expansion).Owing to people's rampant clear cutting, desert is rapidly occupying our living space. In particular, the sharp increase of sand storms is sounding an alarm to us human beings. If we let this situation go as it is, our environment will suffer a great destruction.
Therefore(as the result, thus, hence, accordingly, in my opinion, in conclusion), it is imperative for us to take drastic measures(要迫切采取严厉的措施). For one thing(on the one  hand, above all), we should appeal to our authorities(governments)to make strict laws(make laws 制定法律，可替换为 work out laws) to control deforestation(森林砍伐：clear cutting, deforestation，the cutting of forests植树造林：forestation). For another(on the other hand, in addition, what's more, further more), we should also enhance the awareness of people that the natural resources are very vital to us. Only in this way can we protect our natural resources. Also I believe that we humans can overcome this difficulty, and we will have a brilliant future.
水土保持：water and soil conservation
可以使用从句形式：forest resources are very vital to us
利用倒装句：Only in this way can we protect our natural resources.
利用强调句：It is in this way……，By doing so can we……
利用虚拟句型：It is high time that ……
2001年作文：
Among all the worthy feelings of mankind, love is probably the noblest, but everyone has his/her own understanding of it. (在人类的所有价值感情里面，爱心可能是最崇高的，但是每个人理解不同)
    There has been a discussion recently on the issue in a newspaper. Write an essay to the newspaper to
   1) show your understanding of the symbolic meaning of the picture below, (即在第一段里面要把图画的象征寓意点出来)
   2) give a specific example, (要给出一个具体的例子)and
   3) give your suggestion as to the best way to show love.
You should write about 200 words on ANSWER SHEET 2. (20 points)
作文要求的改动：字数增多，由150增到200个；分值加大，评分标准放宽。 增加情景语言，即：情景说明，提纲说明，以及图画。
重要原则：英语情景说明语句，不可直接照搬，需要进行改动。尽量应用同义，近义词，相关表达，不同句式改造。例如worthy 可以替换为valuable，feelings 可以替换为 emotions，mankind 可以替换为 human being，可以改为 be regarded as/be considered as /be taken as/be viewed as/be thought of as the noblest，noblest可以替换为greatest，
范文一 （20）
Among all the worthy feelings of mankind, love is probably the noblest.（照搬情景句很危险） It is of the utmost importance to the human beings（爱心对人类有至关重要的意义）, Everybody not only needs love, but also should give love.    
As is described in the picture, "love is a lamp which is brighter in darker places. " This is indeed true. People in darker places need more light than ordinary people.（逻辑错误）Maye even a dim light（微弱的光）can give them much hope for a better life and progress. Maybe just a thread of light（一线的光芒）will call forth their strength and courage to step out of（走出困境）their difficulties.
For instance when someone is starving to death, just a little food and water from you may save his life.（我们只是给出一些食物和水就可以帮助他拯救生命）Or when a little girl in a poor rural area drops out of school because of poverty, just a small sum of money from you may support her to finish her schooling and change her life（改变了女孩的人生）.In this cases, you have given love which is like a lamp in a dark place where light is most needed.（在这些例子里面，你已经表现了爱心，向黑暗中的一盏灯一样。）
So to sum up [So to sum up 因此，概括一下应该么改为 as a result/therefore（因此）要么就改为 in conclusion/to sum up （概括总结）], we should offer our help to all who are in need. We expect to get love from others and we also give love to others so when you see someone in difficulty or in distress and in need of help, don't hesitate to give your love to him. I believe then the ralationship between people will be harmonious and our society will be a better place for us to live in.

When……just……结构：当某人遇到……的困境的时候，我们只是这样……就解决了问题。
suppose sb. doing sth.结构：假设某人正遇到……的困境的时候，我们将……
imagine sb. doing sth.,we should……结构：假设某人正遇到……的困境的时候，我们将……
联想：A friend in need is a friend indeed.患难之交才是真正的朋友

范文二：（16）
It is generally believed that love is a hot topic which is most talked about.（句子内容重复，没有真实内容） This is true not only in China but also in other countries. We live in different countries, speak different languages, but love is something common to us all. But how to show love（结构混乱） may be different with different people in different countries. This is something we should give more thought to.
As shown in the picture, love is like a lamp which shines brightest in dark places. This tells us a simple truth: Love is like a lamp. It is most valuable when it is most needed. For example, once I saw a foreign lady get lost in the street. She could not speak Chinese and nobody seemed to be able to help her. Though my English is not very good and I was a shy person(I was shy/I was very shy 就够了), I thought she needed help very much.（desperately绝望地；极度地） I asked her what she wanted. She told me she lost her way, so I showed her the way to her hotel. It was a small thing but she thanked me very much（sincerely真诚的） because my help was needed very much.（my help was most needed）My help was like a lamp in a dark place.
I think（太口语，最好使用：in my opinion/as far as I am concerned/to sum up/in conclusion/on the whole） we all should be like a lamp in a dark place, showing our love, giving our help to others, even to strangers. In this way we can（一般用：Only in this way can we）make this world a harmonious and peaceful world.
“不同”还可以用：differ from，vary from ，distinct from
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